exasperated
by MixItUp
Summary: Sora has some problems in Castle Oblivion. Humor. Oneshot.


**exasperated**

I grinned to myself. This was the final door on the thirteenth floor of the castle; the door that would lead me to fight Marluxia and maybe Axel. I was ready. I clutched my Keyblade in one hand, Donald and Goofy in their card states in the other. I had created a Moogle Room for the occasion, and had purchased several choice cards. I steadied myself and swung my Keyblade.

I had meant it to be a decisive swing, worthy of the Keyblade master, but instead it barely brushed the door. I waited, on pins and needles, my spiky hair sticking straight up as always, my electric blue eyes wide.

Glowing symbols appeared on the door frame. I leaned in to read the first one. A card shape...okay, I knew that already. Blue. That was easy. I could do that. I had lots of those. But it was the final part of the symbol that made me cringe.

A blue _one_.

I stared at the door in disbelief. "How am I supposed to get that?" I asked it. After all, there was nobody else around to hear me. And a one? A blue one? I fumbled in my pockets. Blue one, blue one...nope. I emptied all of my bulging pockets. Not a single blue one. I had blue cards, and I had a few ones. But no blue ones.

I sighed. "I guess you want me to go beat some Heartless, huh?" I asked the door. This castle was really taking its toll on me. Talking to inanimate objects...but with Donald and Goofy as cards, what else could I do?

Of course, the door didn't reply. I sighed and sorted through my cards until I found a Teeming Darkness, value three. That would do, since I had already emptied the other rooms of their Heartless. There seemed to be an unlimited amount of them, except when I really needed to fight one.

I held it up in front of a closed door in the room and calmly watched as it was vaporized. I was used to it now, I reflected as the hinges swung open.

A Shadow slithered up to me. I made a face. I still didn't like those things. I tossed out a card and swung the Keyblade, hard this time. Used Fire. Really no need to give you the details. But before I could finish the Heartless off, a Neoshadow appeared from the darkness at my feet and took the card the Shadow was carrying. I used a Blizzard card to kill it and then started on the Neoshadow. The same thing happened. Before I could get the card, I had to defeat five Neoshadows and twenty Shadows, plus two Blue Rhapsodies. I was exhausted by the time I retrieved my hard-earned card.

I glanced at it. A Tranquil Darkness, value four. I nearly screamed.

The final count of Heartless killed, without the first ones - fifty Shadows, twenty-nine Neoshadows, thirteen Red Nocturnes, fifteen Blue Rhapsodies, five Defenders, eleven Wyverns, ten Wizards, and approximately forty Darkballs. I collapsed in relief on the cold, hard floor of the castle and just laid there for several minutes before summoning the strength to get up and hold out the card to the door.

It vaporized its sacrifice greedily, and then the glowing symbols reappeared, without the blue one. I peered at the next one. A three. A red three. I smiled. I knew I had one of those. I emptied my pockets.

Hmm...Tranquil Darkness, four, seven. Teeming Darkness...two, five, nine. I frowned. Feeble Darkness...no three. Almighty Darkness...same thing. None to be found of Sleeping Darkness, Looming Darkness, White Rooms, or Black Rooms. I was sunk.

"You're evil," I muttered to the door. I _knew_ I had one! Wait a second...

A mental picture formed in my mind. Me, holding out the card to a door to get a blue one! I had already used it for the vicious door's other demand! I groaned and tossed out another card to the Teeming Darkness door.

It took twenty cards worth of Heartless to finally gain a red three. I took breaks often, but still, when I had finally reached my goal, I passed out in sheer exhaustion. I woke up an hour later with Jiminy poking me.

"Sora, you have to open the door!" he scolded.

I sighed. Go on and call me lazy. It felt good to lie there, even on that freezing floor. "Later," I mumbled.

"Not later! Now! Get up!"

He was starting to remind me of...of...that girl. What's-her-name. I was jolted with a picture of a red-haired girl. "Sora, you lazy bum!" I heard the echo of her voice say.

But who was she? Who were my other friends? I had to get moving, or I would never remember. I stood up so abruptly that Jiminy toppled to the floor. I apologized, let him on my shoulder, and walked up to the evil door.

I stood there for a moment before remembering...or rather, not remembering...my friends. "You win," I grumbled to the door.

"What was that, Sora?" Jiminy inquired.

"Nothing." I replied. "Just talking to the door."

Now he was really going to think I was bonkers. I held up the red three and braced myself. But the card wasn't vaporized. I looked at it and nearly cried.

It wasn't a red three. It was a green six. I wondered for a moment if I really was nuts, mistaking a green six for a red three. But I dismissed that. One of those stupid, stupid Heartless must have taken it.

With a noise that was part sigh, part groan, and part battle cry, I plodded off. But the culprit hadn't gotten far. I found a Shadow lurking behind the door left ajar, clutching my oh-so-precious red three.

I clobbered it with the Keyblade and grabbed the card. I stomped over to the door and held it out. I smiled. At least soon I could take care of Axel and/or Marluxia (and whatever else was in my way) and get my memories back. Memories of Riku. Memories of her. Memories of home, my friends, my family, and whatever else I must have forgotten.

The card was taken, and I pulled out my Key of Beginnings card. But the greedy door wasn't through torturing me just yet.

It displayed, in glowing symbols yet again, a card. On it was written the number ninety-nine. I stared at it in shock.

There wasn't such a thing as a ninety-nine card! "How can it expect a card that doesn't exist?" I shouted, forgetting Jiminy was perched on my shoulder.

"I think it wants ninety-nine values worth," the cricket pondered.

I blinked and stared at the symbol. Sure enough, it didn't have an equals mark. I frowned. "Does it want to take all my cards?" I whined. I emptied my pockets for the third time and added up the contents.

Exactly ninety-eight.

It was all I could do not to scream. I stomped out the door, to the nearest Heartless, and tossed every card in my deck at it. I came back with a blue five. I tossed that into the pile and shoved it in front of the door.

It didn't destroy them. "Now what?" I grumbled, before realizing I had to pick them up, _one at a time_, and spoon-feed them to the door. I was really beginning to hate that door with a passion.

Finally, after almost thirty minutes, all the cards were gone. I half-expected the greedy door to burp. It displayed one final symbol - the Key of Beginnings. I held it out gladly and was admitted through, to find Axel leaning against the wall. Marluxia was nowhere to be seen.

"Thought you'd never show," he remarked.

"Where's Marluxia?" I demanded in my most heroic voice.

Axel shrugged. "Dead and gone. Little late, aren't you?"

"You killed him?" I was disappointed. "I don't get to fight him?"

"Look, that's what you get if you show up late." He paused. "What happened, anyway?"

"Door problems."

He stared at me for a moment then shrugged again. "I don't think I want to know."


End file.
